Never Look a Gift Horse in the um
by epicpickleninja
Summary: A bromance one shot between Peter and Neal involving an arguement over a very common phrase.


A r**andom one-shot. No spoilers. Don't own WC (sadly) and for those of you who are reading my Old Co-workers story, I **_**haven't**_** actually forgotten about it…I just…am having issues writing it. Specifically Peter's part. Oh well…enjoy!**

"So, it was an inside job?" Jones asked for clarification.

"Possibly," Peter said, not really answering Jones' question.

"Not really," Neal countered, throwing a rubber band ball into the air.

Peter ignored him. "The butler received a suitcase full of money on the 13th with a note telling him to arrive late on Friday, the night that the _Mafeiat _was stolen, but why he didn't report the mysterious briefcase full of money sooner is beyond me."

Neal snorted. "So you're telling me that you would report a hundred grand that you just happened to find."

"First of all, he didn't 'just happen to find it.' It was personally given to him and yes, I would."

"It wasn't personally given to him."

Peter closed his eyes briefly and stopped the retort on the tip of his tongue. He wouldn't waste time bickering with Neal over something so petty. "He should've reported it in as soon as he heard the _Mafeiat_ was stolen. What did he think the money was for?"

"Never look a gift horse in the mouth," Neal muttered to himself.

Jones watched with amusement as Peter paused in the act of scolding Neal before a confused look crossed his face. "I thought it was the eye."

"What?" A frown flickered across Neal's face. "No, it's definitely the mouth."

"Why wouldn't you look at the eye?"

"What's the horse going to do? Scream and throw a horse tantrum because someone looked it in the eye? If that was true then horse race tracks would be closer to a hospital."

A small smirk appeared on Peter's lips. "Horse tantrum?"

"My point _is_," Neal said, ignoring Peter, "that if you looked a gift horse in the mouth then it would attack. _Hence_ looking at the mouth of said horse being a bad idea."

"Then wouldn't you not want to look at the hooves," Peter wondered thoughtfully.

"What?" Neal asked in disbelief, dropping his usual charming façade for a moment. "Why wouldn't you look at a gift horse's _hooves_?"

"Why would you look at a gift horse's mouth?" Peter countered.

"Exactly," Neal said with satisfaction, propping his feet up on the table.

Peter stared at his partner for a moment. "You can't use that as a reason."

"Why not?"

"Because you didn't answer the question."

Neal gave a heavy sigh. "Peter, you asked me why someone would look at a gift horse's mouth."

"Yeah…"

"So I said 'exactly'—"

"—which isn't a reason."

"Because the point is you _wouldn't_ look a gift horse in the mouth."

Peter paused.

"Since it'll bite you—"

"I got it."

"—If you do."

Peter glowered at Neal for a moment. "It could still kick you."

"Well, I was under the impression that not getting your face close to an animal's kicking range was common sense, but that might just be me…"

"Your face doesn't have to be close to a horse's hooves for you to see them."

"So you agree that looking at a gift horse's mouth would be worse than looking at the horse's hooves?"

"No."

"Does the horse ninja kick you then?" Neal chuckled.

"Karate kick," Peter corrected, "and no."

"Ninja. Then explain your theory on how the horse will kick you _without_ your face being close to it."

"Karate. El will probably want me to get home early..."

"Don't deflect, you're kind of bad at it, and ninja."

"I'm not deflecting. Karate."

"Ninja. Then answer the question."

Jones coughed, failing to hide his grin. "So it's not an inside job?"

Neal and slightly pink Peter turned back to him slowly.

Neal smiled disarmingly at him. "Definitely not."

"I'll go see if forensics has found anything on the briefcase."

"You do that, Jones," Peter said without really meeting his eye.

Silence followed Jones out of the conference room. A certain conman broke it with a quietly muttered 'ninja' and mock fighting soon ensued. Jones smiled. Things sure were more interesting with Neal around.

**For the longest time I couldn't remember where you didn't want to look a gift horse at. (pretty sure that it's the mouth…maybe) so I thought of this fic and here it is. Hopefully someone found it funny.**

**REVIEW!**


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